i tell you what i think of THIS(spelled backwards)

Present day, Present time. HaHaHaHaH. Yeah, I know got a lot of I-dont-need-this-cd's. It's supposed to be free, I only needed a copy but here they are...considered as junk.... I once did use this pile of junk. Same color, same kind...its nice when you insert a light source in the middle...quite a nice lamp...quite a nice gift...

for the past years none of whom i've known do i consider a friend. All of them...let's just say most of them wouldn't tell me that i'm in deep trouble. They would just stand and watch as I walk the line of fooling myself..needless to say...i dont need them...happy hypocrites...

A lot of us.. consider love as something so vague..that we use it as an alibi to do foolish things..during the foolish times...yes, its vague enough to be meaningless...can you even spell responsibility and honesty? dont forget respect...and you tell the world that you and a bunch of so called lovestruck individuals..can be moved and be considered a lunatic...grow-up and carry on with what you have..

People are people. And I find some of them quite amusing... there are some that use numbers to call attention, some use someone to feel good..but honestly...it's pathetic.. why need some..cant you stand alone? you spell shit that you think you coined it. And tell the world that youre the bearer of what is supposed to be...you cant even eat your shit..cant even turn your ass and say i'm IT. keep fooling yourself and you'll wind up the same...as most of us do...another Yet-Another..

I hate sundays, the music, awkwardness, and the feeling that something bad will happen amidst the temporary happiness. Just keep my guard up..and refrain..refrain...

and you see my reflection(happy new year)

Present day, present time. HaHaHaHaH. Its 2o1o, here at the office. Here people are like chickens..chicken shitting eggs..fooled into thinking that its all about the money.... now are they shitting me?..can i complain?...hmm..

2009 has been one hell of a year. I would like to thank those
-who reminded me that im a hell of a kick-ass
-who neglected me for who i am
-my worthy adversaries...thanks for fucking my life, ive gain much from you all..see you in hell.
-my shitty comrades....hahaha
-my solace(s)...thanks for being there...your presence alone brings warmth..and the feeling of being at home.
-myselves..for keeping me sane..

It's january 1...ill be at the usual place...

dead memories in my head

Present day,Present time. HaHaHaHaH. I miss the shoreline, the sand and the....BEACH of course.. We all lie regardless of principle, religion, and belief. Its just a matter of believing the lie, believing that each lie we take, each lie we tell will go accordingly to what's in our mind. But we all know that we are lousy liars. We tend to leave a spec of truth behind or a dash of what lies we made. Just a tip for you hire a new "you" dont trust yourself.

Too much stress for this week. Reason? hmm i dont know.. besides the deliverables, work load, side projects and doing old stuff for old shits...

I've done my part...
and my parting words... decide dont choose

the sand kings of time

Present day,present time. HaHaHAHaH. Its been years since Ive been wondering what my blood type is. Finally got my answer last year for 70 bucks. Thanks for this particular information, I'll be able to help a friend...

It's the first day of 2009 here I am in a local resto/diner. It took me more than a year to get again to this spot. Its my MECCA, a place for my reflection, recollection, and getting my shit together. And yes, It be another year till I go here again. Hope 2009 will be a good year for me, 2008 has been harsh and shitty. Thanks to everyone, gonna miss you 2008. 2009, hope youll give me a chance...chance...

new year

Present day,present time. HaHaHaHaH. Love thy neighbor as thy self. Well, it be nice if my neighbor is a she its just me. Anyway, our big-fat-bald neighbor thinks he knows too well about lands. He goes out to his territory and block the shortcut to my house. FUCK YOU!!!!, legally speaking your dying! well Ive seen the plans bozo there should be a small road between your two properties. This will be my last curse this year hope not in my life time! hope karma comes after you!.

Well enough of shitty things that happened and still happening to my life. Well I love math(sort of) so I love problems.yeah right! I felt that christmas is another season were people are getting more and more materialistic. But a few still live to what christmas is...its for christ...its for-giving...

New year. new goals same path. I hope that the people that Ive hurt and the people who felt that I hurt will forgive me. Its now 2009 kids, let reconcile and move forward. PADAYUN!!! SA PAG LAMBO!!!

your face is like yeah...yeah..yeah.

Present day present time. HaHaHaHaH. Its been two years since I accepted this job. Two years since Ive change my name,my alter ego,my outlook in life, the way I hid things to myself. Two years yet I am still stuck in a rut. Com'on leew, life's a bitch learn to fuck it....and fuck it hard.

....to be continued....

so it craves again.

Present day, present time. HaHaHaHaH!. Currently listening to gNr's november rain thankin' that its nice when someone is out there bleeding out with you. Its nice to sleep after you bleed out the extra current in your circuitry. HaHaHaHaH!.

Work been hell. Still looking for my true calling. Still looking for the piece of me that makes me tick. I was eating siopao at charlie's dinner with a friend asking me what does my future looks like. Not to sound serious I just said "maybe abroad". Yes, friends, relatives of mine are slowly conquering the global market. From singapore to dubai and canada.. dont forget New jersey. I remember someone told me....well,almost every does. You get nothing from staying in Davao,furthermore you get nothing staying in the Philippines. They maybe right, look the non-stop bullcrap that is showbiz-politics that we have nowadays. Spending money on bullshit session on someone's shit. We need more bridges and roads here dearest bullshit senators not another shit-digging-crab-mentality stint. You call your job public service when all you do is public stint.



Malagkit. When I was a boy every sunday or saturday I would always accompany my parents to BANGKEROHAN, PALENGKE. Always bring some childhood memories.HaHaHaHaH!


Manny pacman fighting Golden boy. A part of me says "youve grown into some circus I just hope one day youll be beating the crap of some wrestler. Com' on What in hell are you thinking this is overboard your like feeding yourself to the den of lions they know that you cant resist dela hoya..its your pride...think..and by the way..dont ever run for public office..SORRY!"..but then again a part of me says " dont get down easily...one two three uppercut...his is slow...."

ode to november

Present day, present time. Hahahaha. Life is another thing that we can remember, we can cherish and we can see coming. Its another form of us that is us. Us to others, us to ourselves. My life been so boring and blurry but all I can think of is go to the other point in this case siopao and dutch mill. hahahahaha.

Every november my family goes to visit my brothers grave. It became a family affair between the four of us, make it five in spirit. I arrived around 11am better late than never. The grave was white and clean and there were flowers. Past is past, you cant rewrite the bible. All you can do is read it and make a novel on how it change your life.

Nothing compare to old friends,nothing. Thanks guys till we meet again. Next time Pizza tau.

IT must be still called..hahahahaha

Present day, present time. HAHAHAHA. Finally Got this cube SOLVE with a little help of course(CHEATERS ALWAYS WIN!). Just search rubix solver on google.

random thoughts:

1)Is that the new hairdo?Is that you?

2)need to do about this amplifier its been freaking 5 years or so, on the corner of my room waiting to unleash the 200 watts of raw power.

3)watching the distance expand till nothing but empty space and silence.HAHAHA. WHAT THE HELL AM I TALKING ABOUT. Just got carried away.

4)THATS ONe GOOD set pictures you got man. One salute to the "SIR FRANCIS M".

5)It was one big table my "boss" with the bosses. And come to think of it, she felt awkward and somehow stupid. Sitting at the end of the table, all she could do was laugh when the guy next to her was laughing.. hahahahhahaha. Well thats one good piattos moment.

6)mcDONALDS sucks. Customer service, food, and price.

Just finish watching "the break-up" stating v. Vaughn and j.Aniston. Adding this up.

7)Its a nice-lighten up movie.  I mean, it took me around  two years to finally watch this. I like the end part, where the two meet again only to part ways but leave an impression that everything was good.

8) 4-5 hours of sleep. what can I do but wake up.

xcfe

Present day, present time. hahahahaha. I dont know what happen to pclinuxos.Anyway, My portable dvd gone bonkers. Currently running on "zenwalk" since pclinuxos wouldnt run on my pc(hate that mounting error msg).

My superior would be transferred to another team. Seems like he wasnt getting enough sales to boost our EGOLOMANIAC BOSS. Hate my boss, she is doing her job but I hate her for doing so. hahahahahahaha. Yesterday I was just doing troubleshooting now I am doing sales. And to top it I get nothing. BULLCRAP!!!!

My room like a big storage room where old-useless things end up. a lot of boxes a lot of trash. need to throw some of it.

the "hu r u" the who..the who..who who ..

Present day, Present time.My job takes a lot of my time,NO! all my time. No physical activity makes me feel shitty fat. Though there are times I walk but it was all about getting something in or out of my mind. Im pretty much stress out now. I wonder when shall this end, or I am just getting burned out again.

I usually wake up around 12 am. Work starts around 2am depending on the volume of shitty bastards. My superior is a schoolmate of mine. He is good and very understable. Ive been with the same shitty good talented individuals for more than a year now. At 6am I take my first 15 minute break, Its really exhausting. I usually see myself over qualified for the job that I am in Got a 5 year degree and here I am. Not complaining though. Usually the people that do excel here are the ones who kiss shit or the ones whose ego reach the alternate universe in sheer crap. Guess the saying was right " dili ka mudatu kung buutan ka".

Well I love bianca king. "pa" highly sophisticated bitch who thinnks she is smart enough to rule the world. Shucks, really attracted to women with power or projects power.

personal errands(illbg B. sozbo)

Present day present time. hahahaha. I really like this photo guess ill be putting up another blog or getting my old one a new shit. Light and darkness drama nothing new.

Im a fan of naruto who isn't ( the manga version of course). Every Friday after my shift, that is around 12 noon I eagerly open up my browser to see whats happening in the naruto world. After a dose of manga , a good movie will help me out go to sleepville. I hate my job now. Needless to say I cant let go, im still in the process of..lets say...recuperating..hahahahahaha...

Whats up with me lately...thinking about getting a small lot from samal..or IGACOS...thats nearly five years to pay...hahaha...im not obsess with my life now. I feel such that my life is a big joke. Well I'm a Joker at least the harlequin... hahahah

I cant help but wonder. Should time heal wounds, when will it be.

so sick and tired for june

Present day, present time. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Yesterday after countless times of trial and error i finally got to establish internet connection on my room computer. It brings back memories of splicing wires, logic circuits and copper wires. Well now im enjoying the beauty and madness of what is linux. Pages pop up fast, no fear of viruses,it looks clean and new. But as a noob on this I just cant leave on some programs that run on windows and installing programs takes some time(using synaptic).

Every sunday as a stress reliever I promise myself to draw. My first love, since I was a child this was my solace. I spent around 5 minutes of my time(hahahaha) with my ever handy dandy 7 colored crayons. I draw what ever comes to mind. I know im not good at it. But it just so good to see something you created. though it seem trash its my own trash not yours.

another fuzz face effect

Present day, present time. HAHAHAHA. It was crazy, I started my shift around 2am around 3am my stomach feel funny. Then after the first trip to the comfort room I was not feeling funny. How in hell can I concentrate when your stomach complains, begging you to let free. Well I think you know what will happen next. Anyway it was around noon when I decided to give yellow cab a call. It was good 18 inch of heaven.... Just a word, DIATABS SUCKX. Anyway it didnt work for me. LORMIDE works....GATORADE RULES!!!

IM BORED

IM BORED. WHAT ELSE, NOTHING NEW.

of might and not of magic

Present day, present time. HAHAHAHA. I am pretty much bored. Bored of the same shitty routine, same shitty clients, same beautiful faces, the same shitty fucken work. I want to be back to the scene. Transcending to the wall of sound while holding a hot solder on the right hand and a lead on the left. I want to make things again. Maybe it be stupid but I want to be productive again. Maybe it be a fourth graders electronic project but I want to extract some creative juice out of this soupy brain. Or the least be on someone else pc to troubleshoot( bangka lng ug juice..okay na ko).

I miss some of my friends, people I use to know, people whom I've only meet once, people who I havent seen but became my unbiased counsel. Individuals that help me gain something new or the least given me a piece of them, don't forget the people who hated me for being so pessimistic. Ops, I failed to mention the individuals whom I shared my advice to their heartaches to think I'm such a failure when it comes to that subject matter. I truly miss you guys and gals.

To the people who have been to my room. Got news for you. It's such a mess now that It feels like I am a 13 year old boy starting to gain responsibility and say puberty.

picture from en.wikipedia.org

here we go again

on monday(may 14,2007). Philippines will be having the biggest feast,the elections.every three years,certain individuals win for shitty reasons.the irony here is they campaign for the poor yet they themselves didn't know how does it feel to be in the bottom end of the food chain.they see and emphatise with the poor people.it just gives me the shit,that only rich people can run this shitty government.

well,will i vote.hmm, nope i did register last three years ago with a friend. i did remember the photo sessions and getting of handprints on the buildings besides the sangunihan panglungsod. only to know that they abandoned the so called upgrade of the elections. on the day of the elections,did i try to get back my right to vote by going to magsaysay park and watchamacallit..."re-register"..and it was around 2pm.time wasnt on my side though.and hence i failed to exercise my right to vote.

now,i just hope that politics will not be a circus.i dont mean any offense to some boxers,actors, trying to be politicians. thing is,how can you make laws while you got two months of training.shit,there are also old faggots saying they did something big for there province,hell with you sir.and shitty madames trying to get the sympathy of the people.i do salute the only muslim individual running for senate,hope they will get there voice heard,or hope he will do his duty when he will have a seat on the senate.whats on the senate that certain individuals waste millions.beats me,it aint the pork barrel?.i really hope so.

window panes

<-so it opens->
when your struck/its like a shard/a suprise...yes you go on...anger then sets in...you become frustrated...the scene always comes..over and over again..and like a dormant volcano....

<-likewaste->
and so comes along a spider..watching you like a prey..and honestly you dont get a damn..its a spider afterall and you are the prey...but needless to say inside your mind...your toying the spider..its gazing eyes are just stares of a child constantly crying..afterall..the spider is going to be dead...with a splat..and yes...you still came to realize the order of the hierachy...

<-integral->
wine...the more you ought not to taste it..the more the scent attracts you..you did remember the first sip...it still lingers...like a tatoo...yet a call of a passer's by..rejection still...and so you came to a conclusion...there are people who ought to say they change..yet you know the truth..

the ballad of julie and NIck

Everyone in this world wish that we can change/RE-do something in our past...we tend to cry about them often...rght???..thing is we cant do a single thing about it..thats why i am an avid fan of the film...Butterfly effect...hmm....here comes part 2...the usually scenario..hero(in the guise of nick) has a gift to change the past..everytime he wants to...and suffers a nose bleed after...has a driven/pregnant gf(julie)..yep all boys wants to please his girl somehow...ends up in a car accident first...loses his kid...changes timeline(cuz gf wants a better life,than what they have)...ended up with the position of vice president...loses her gf to an unfair with the bosses daughter...again changes the past..only to lose himself...

moral lesson of the story....you cant change everything..better yet..you cant have everything..somehow you got to lose something...and gain something in return..it may not be as good as the "prior" but it's nonetheless thats what you have now...we all wanted to change the past...if i was given that gift..i wouldnt hesitate to use it ..mind you that

ode to my brother

Till now,your death is still a family secret. Maybe it was all an accident or someone should be blamed. But the thing is, I don't know what had happened that day. Anyway, Im all grown up now. Finish a college degree acquired a license thanks to you, But dear brother I still dont have a job. It pisses me off when our dear mother cooks her deliciously made soup,yet I the eldest can't put something on the table. I've done everything in my reach to acquire a job,did I made a mistake somewhere. Everyone so eager for me. Like people comparing me with their friends friends or childrens friends. They compared me to those who have successfully made life so easy. But one thing they missed to see,the big picture. Some of their friends friends,childrens friends carreer are short live. Everyone so eager to hit the jackpot now that they fail to see the future.When will I venture into this?that I don't know,but hell I am sticking with my plan. Or am I? Enough of that. Our sister doing great, she's still a brat like before but still she is our sister. I know she will go farther places than her kuya. Though she still aint able to manage her anger at least at home. Father is still aiming for the easy jackpot, and into gamefowls. It just make sick sometimes that I should be the one to feed and take care of his gamefowls. Mother is still the best,though her temper is quite irritating.

I do envy you, you died so young. You died not knowing how it's gonna be the eldest. Not knowing how people will treat you,ridiculed,rejected and praised . Not knowing how to fall and be reached by someone who in your mind is the last person to reach out for you. Its a hard life dear brother, somehow I do hope that I didn't make it up this far. Somehow I wish I am with you on the other side. But there are times that I really hope you were still the eldest. Able to accompany me, Teach me things that you ought to know first. Be the one who will catch me when our parents scold me, The one who will go to the principals office in order to bail me out. Thanks for everything though, you inspire me to live the life that you left.