Sirach chapter 8,verse 19

Friday, October 16, 2009

No suprises

Present day, present time. HaHaHaHaH. And I look like one of "them". She's with someone new. I cant really understand how I feel right now. Its like all the shit in the world is on me. Asking myself what happened, I thought I built a fortress forge with love, patience and trust instead it became a big wall isolating me from what I tried to protect.

Coping? still.. trying to close my eyes, grasp my breath and try to let go...

Pretending to be what I hate..helps..
Talking to someone you hate...helps..
Talking to a friend...helps
Writing and reading...helps

Keeping busy... doesn't help.
Expecting... doesn't help
looking back... doesn't help
Isolation...doesn't help.

And yes, I've given a thought about killing, its my niche. lol, but come to think about it. Will it benefit me? or its one way of cheating?

I have a habit of making things funny. Well in this case, I found out what a liar the 3rd party is. He is all about the impression. Well, if he ever hurt's her again. That I think will be a just motive to kill him.

What do I think about her?..Well besides the fact she is one bitch,liar,user-friendly,fickle-minded,whore who looks upon nothing but herself...i still love her.